


This Is Enough

by thedollopheadofCamelot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean - Freeform, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean Needs Castiel, Dean Needs Love, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Episode: s12e13 Family Feud, Family, Family Feud ending and The Raid beginning, Friendship/Love, Gen, Heartbreak, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e03 The Foundry, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Post-Episode: s12e13 Family Feud, Sadness, Season/Series 12, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Spoilers, Stuck In The Middle (With you), Team Free Will Hug, Team Free Will needs a hug, The foundry, They all need each other, They all need love, Ugh, Why Mary, and sam - Freeform, can be read as destiel, either way, sdbfsdgahshskh, slight destiel, the bunker, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-15 06:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedollopheadofCamelot/pseuds/thedollopheadofCamelot
Summary: *Spoilers for season 12*//Dean struggles to hold it together when Mary leaves them. He can't help but feel abandoned all over again. But the worst part is, she didn't just hurt him... She hurt Sam...and Cas almost-//This is loosely set after some of the events from the episodes The Foundry, Stuck In The Middle (With You), and Family Feud/the beginning of the episode The Raid.So basically--- set after Cas almost dies and Mary finally tells the Winchester brothers that she's been working for the BMOL.





	This Is Enough

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm still not over season 12...I don't think I ever will be since for one, it's totally my favorite season so far, and two, it's so freaking emotional!  
> And Dean deserves a hug okay  
> OKAY

It's quiet, so quiet he hears everything. Faucet drips, watch ticks, the whole nine. His mind is buzzing loud, louder than every small sound his ears can pick out. And it's too freaking much because he's thinking about Sam, Mary, and especially Cas. And god- something is twisting in his chest in a way that's too hard to ignore. So he lifts the bottle by the neck and takes a swig. It's habitual and he doesn't even want it but the liquid glides down his throat in a soothing, familiar way and it seems to keep him from losing his mind so he continues. He counts how many times the glass clinks against the tabletop each time he sets it down. He counts how many times his lips curl over the hole. It doesn't fill his head like it's supposed to. He's still seeing the burns on Sam's foot. He's still seeing the bloodstains on Cas' clothes. He's still hearing the tone in Mary's voice when she had to go. He remembers his body's response, how he practically flinched then froze when she stepped towards him and he just could not bear it. And _Sam's face_. He saw his heart break when she walked out. And he hated it. He hated her. He hated her for everything.

He'd allowed himself to think just for a moment that maybe this was their second chance. They could have a shot at being that perfect family they were supposed to be. But nothing ever went right for them. Dean should know that by now. He chastises himself because of freaking course she didn't want them. First his dad disappears on him and then his mom just when they'd got her back. It was all just too damn much. His throat squeezes in on itself as he remembers those nights alone with kid Sammy and barely enough food to go around. He remembers the panic he'd felt when John wouldn't answer his phone and Sam was off at Stanford and he was- dammit. Dean tries to shake the loneliness off but it shivers up his arms and takes a hold of him. He's got Sam this time but he can't help it. It hurts. It hurts really bad. The worst part is that Mary has turned her back on them. That she doesn't want them. To go and work for the people who tortured Sam?! It makes Dean so angry that his head spins. And then he feels sick because Cas was dying and it had all been her fault. _He'd almost_ _lost_ \- Tears slip from his eyes. He is so cold, so upset- he nearly chokes on the sobs. He feels ashamed that he's falling apart right now when Sam probably needs him. But he doesn't know how to talk about this yet. Can't. So he works himself up until he's gasping for breath, a level of emotion he never allows himself to get to.

And then the bunker door makes that loud awful noise as someone comes through. He knows it's Cas by sound alone. He knows that walk, the echoes of his shoes on the bunker floor, the rustle of his trench coat. He knows them. And soon enough he hears his gruff voice. "I've got a lead on Kelly Kline." For once in his life he skips the hello and Dean briefly wonders if they've really rubbed off on him that much. Dean hears him stop and he knows he's seen him now even though he's avoiding his gaze and desperately trying to wipe at his eyes, he knows this.

"Dean-" he starts.

And Dean wheezes, unable to breathe properly through the strain. He wants to tell Cas he's fine and lock himself in his room to avoid conversation, but instead, the angel is by his side in an instant, looking him over in concern.

"What happened?"

Dean shakes his head and tries to clear his throat enough. "Mom, she..." he begins hoarsely. He can't even finish. His throat constricts on him so tightly that he's paralyzed.  
And suddenly he's surrounded by Cas. It's been a been a while since he's been hugged like this. Actually...he's never been hugged like this before. Cas' grip on him is firm and gentle as he runs his fingers through his hair. "I've got you," he whispers and Dean starts shaking in his arms as he finally lets it out. " _I've got you_." And suddenly the world is just the two of them sinking into each other and holding on. And Dean's okay with that. He needs it.

Castiel is always the one he'll run to.

Even in the beginning, when they'd first met, he rushed to let him into his life. Something about Cas was different than anyone or anything he'd ever met. Maybe it was the way he tilted his head and squinted his eyes in that innocent, childlike way as he tried to comprehend something that went over his head. Maybe it was the way he rebelled against heaven for him and that even from the start, he was unlike all the rest of the angels. Maybe it was the way the angel seemed to understand him. Most beings are judgmental and want to change you to fit who they think you should be. Yet Cas seemed to accept him as he was, still does. And Dean can't help it. A little rush of love seeps through his heart for Cas.

Dean starts to calm down, his muscles finally going slack and the knots in his throat finally becoming loose.

"Dean, may I ask-"

"Please, Cas just- just a little longer."

Dean closes his eyes and buries his fingers deeper into Cas' trench coat. He remembers when he used to make fun of it, call him dorky because it was weird, but now he can hardly imagine him without the damned coat nor does he want to. He feels safe like this in a way he hasn't felt in years really and he doesn't want to lose that.

The bunker door makes that excessively loud noise again and Dean hears Sam on the steps.

Cas immediately pulls away to look, but Dean drags him back. "C'mere, angel," he mumbles as he keeps them held together, not willing to let go just yet.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk but Dean I-" Sam stops mid sentence to stare at them. "Oh. Hey, guys."

"Sammy," Dean says, his voice still hoarse from the crying. "Join us?"

And the expression on his brother's face is pretty priceless. The utter shock he sees would make him laugh under normal circumstances but not now.

Cas presses his cheek into Dean's neck as Sam slowly puts an arm each around the two of them.

"I love you guys," Dean tells. And he knows that later they'll talk, but for now this is enough. This is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Ddugudshfgusooshgu  
> Season 12 kills me but I love it so much
> 
> On another note-  
> Is anyone watching season 13 yet?  
> I'm loving it, but I feel really bad for almost every character right now! D,X  
> It's killing me but it's absolutely amazing!


End file.
